Equidistant
by SuziSooz
Summary: Filling in some series 3 gaps starting just after Elvis’ funeral and exploring the break down of Captain James and Molly’s marriage in his pursuit of Lane.
1. Heartbreak Hotel

**Author's Note: Hi readers! I've been missing writing OG fanfic since i finished 'Ghosts' so I'm back with this. Going back a bit to just after Elvis' funeral now... just fancied filling in some gaps from series 3! Is it worth carrying on? Let me know x **

It was late when Charles and Molly got home. The street was in near total darkness but for the security light by the porch that flicked on as their car came to a slow stop in the driveway outside their house in Bath. They sat in silence as Charles turned the engine off. It had been a long and draining day and their beloved friend Elvis had now been laid to rest.

Charles couldn't get the image of the union flag draped ever so neatly over the perfectly polished coffin out of his mind. How was it even possible that his best friend could have been inside?

He had hardly spoken two words on the drive home. Whenever she'd stolen a glance at him his face remained unchanged, devoid of any emotion, his eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead. He'd been stoic all day. He'd even gotten through his beautifully written eulogy without so much as a shaky breath.

She didn't know how he'd managed it. The tears had streamed down her own face as she'd looked on helplessly from their pew as an utterly bereft Georgie wailed beside Elvis' coffin. She'd swallowed the lump in her throat as Grace and Max Lane had to prize their daughter off of it, practically holding her upright as they struggled to get her to her seat so that the service could begin.

She hadn't been able to stop herself imagining what if that were Charles lying lifeless in that coffin? She could so easily be Georgie, she'd thought. It hit home harder than ever before that _this_ could be _their_ reality, especially whilst they were both still touring. She'd felt his arm drape around her shoulders as she sobbed quietly to herself, biting down hard on her lower lip in a bid not to make a sound - Georgie's howling was enough for everyone. It was _so_ unfair. Why was it always the good ones? Smurf? Elvis? Her heart almost stung as she thought about it. Then he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and she stiffened as she realised it was the first time he'd made any attempt at physical contact since he came home from Nepal and that only made her sob harder. She had looked up at him briefly, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were firmly on the back of Georgie's head up at the front as her Mum held her close and it seemed as though his thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

He'd stood by her side for the most part of the day, appearing the dutiful husband to the outsiders looking on. But he was the dutiful Army Captain first. She could feel it somewhere deep inside her - that he was merely going through the motions. He said all the right things to all the right people but it was as though he was on autopilot. He'd been here before but this time it was his _best friend_. She didn't quite understand it.

There was a moment however, when he appeared to _come to_ _life _so to speak. She'd emerged from the Ladies' and saw him with his arms wrapped around Georgie, embracing her in what looked like the warmest of hugs. She almost felt a pang of jealousy; he hadn't held her like that for a long time. Georgie had her eyes closed and was leaning into his chest. He was saying something to her but she wasn't close enough to hear what it was. Georgie looked up at him and nodded, managing the smallest of smiles through her tear stained face which he reciprocated. In that split second it was as though he was back for a moment, Charles, not just his shell.

As she approached them they slowly pulled apart and then that stone faced look was back on his face. She instinctively, somewhat possessively she supposed, held onto his arm. "Georgie..." She said, her voice tinged with sympathy.

"Mols." Georgie replied with a quivering lip. Molly watched as her eyes flicked quickly from her arm linked with Charles' and then back to her. She had almost felt guilty, standing there next to _her_ Captain when Georgie no longer had hers.

"I'm um.. I'm heading off now." Georgie had said, her voice beginning to wobble a bit. Molly nodded, trying to hold back her tears again. She didn't know what to say. _I'm_ so s_orry_ _Georgie_ just didn't seem to cut it. Nothing she could have said would bring him back. It just felt a bit pointless. Suddenly she'd broken free from Charles and embraced Georgie into a hug. "You take care, yea?" She sniffed. Georgie pursed her lips together and nodded at her, breaking away from the hug before she fell apart again. And then she was gone.

Charles watched her until she was out of sight, his head then dropped downwards and he seemed to find the floor interesting for a moment. Then he sighed, "You ready?" He said, not even looking up at her. "Yea." She answered simply, and they were on their way home.

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"I'm gonna take a shower." Charles said once they were inside the house. He was already climbing the stairs up to the bathroom.

Molly sighed as she watched him disappear and then she followed in his footsteps, upstairs, where she then turned into the bedroom and flopped herself down onto the bed, exhausted. What a day.

_Still puttin' up with Charlie-boy 'ere then? _

She shook her head as she lay looking up at the ceiling, fondly remembering Elvis' cheeky demeanor. He was the big brother she never had. She was really going to miss him.

In the bathroom Charles stood in front of the mirror, barely recognising the man who stood looking back at him wearing full military dress uniform. Being in uniform was what held him together for the most part, but today he couldn't wait to take it off. He felt a fraud, wearing this uniform like a badge of honour when underneath, it was his poor judgement that had gotten Elvis killed.

He stepped into the shower and allowed the hot water to wash over him, washing the day away, oh how he wished it could wash away everything that had happened in Afghanistan. So many thoughts spun around in his head.

_Cpt. Azizi: This mission, it's too much of a risk. I think we should abort... I have a bad feeling James, we are taking a huge risk, with my men and yours. _

_Cpt. James: It's what we signed up to do Azizi... we're in this together._

_Richards: You remember that dicker on the way out 'ere? I think Azizi knows him... I know he's your mate Sir but you do 'ear about it don't ya, green on blue? _

_Cpt James: I trust Azizi to stand by me the way I trust all of you._

_Cpt James: __It was you! You told them we were coming. How could you do this? I trusted you!_

_Cpt James: I've done 5 tours of Afghanistan, for what? _

_Cpt James: Once we get clearance we're out of here, never to darken Afghanistan's door again, never again._

_Cpt James: What good has it done really? Us, in Afghan? It's a fucking waste. _

_Kingy: With all due respect Sir we've all lost friends here. Me? I don't want to think that they might have died for nothing. _

_Elvis: Suspected IED on rooftop, ten liner, wait out. _

_Georgie: What am I gonna do without him? _

Soon enough, he had broken. It was inevitable. Like floodgates trying to hold back a tsunami. Tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed loudly, pushing his hands against the tiles in the shower to steady himself as he lost control for the first time that day.

Molly froze as she first heard his cries through the wall, then she almost felt a sense of relief. This had to happen at some point. He couldn't hold it in forever. She slowly got up from the bed and made her way to the bathroom door. She tried the handle, it was locked. "Charles?" She said, knocking on the door. He didn't answer. She could still hear him sobbing through the running water of the shower. With her palm flat against the door she leaned her head against it as her tears also fell.


	2. Chapter Two: Always On My Mind

Chapter Two

_Always On My Mind _

Molly sat on the floor outside the bathroom door, her back leaning up against it as she hugged her knees to her chest. It had all been very quiet for several minutes, she wondered what he was doing in there.

Suddenly the door opened and she just managed to put her hands down to steady herself before she could fall backwards. Charles was momentarily startled and looked down at her. "What are you doing?" He asked, his brow creasing. She quickly stood to face him, swiping away at the tears that had left their tracks running down her cheeks. Looking at him now his face showed no evidence of the emotional outburst she had heard through the door only minutes ago.

She suddenly felt a little foolish at the way he was looking at her and could feel herself beginning to blush. She gulped before asking "Are you alright?"

He stared at her for a few seconds before replying "I'm fine." with a small bob of his head. There was a definite air of _why wouldn't I be?_ in his delivery, although he didn't actually say that. Her eyes dropped to the floor and he made his way into the bedroom. She followed, standing in the doorframe as she watched him remove the towel from around his waist and slip into his jogging bottoms.

"It's just I.. I heard you.. just then." She said trepidly, indicating toward the bathroom with a slight jerk of her head.

He turned his head to her and then back again, his lips parted as though ready to speak. He sighed heavily as he leaned forwards against the chest of drawers and lowered his head. "I buried my best friend today." He stated matter-of-factly. "D'you think I'm allowed to be upset about that for just _one_ fucking minute?"

She bit down hard on her lip as she felt her eyes begin to well up. He never usually spoke to her in this manner. But he was grieving so she would bite her tongue and forgive it today. "Talk to me, Charles." She pleaded softly, taking a step forward into the room. "I'm your wife."

"What is there to say? " He answered bluntly, lifting his head and staring at his reflection in the oval mirror that stood on top of the chest of drawers. "Elvis is dead. Everything's gone to shit."

She stared at him staring at himself. "I know. I know it has. But it _is_ ok to be upset. You've been needin' to let it out, you've been holdin' it in all bleedin' day. Why?" She asked softly.

He shook his head. "You _saw_ how broken she is. She didn't need _me_ stood there - another fucking emotional wreck."

"Like me you mean?" She said, her voice small. "He was my friend too Charles."

"I don't know how she's ever gonna get over this." He said, shaking his head again and ignoring what Molly had just said. He was still staring at his reflection.

"Georgie's got her family around her, she'll be alright." Molly offered but he didn't say anything. She looked around the room, as though searching for words that would offer some comfort. "I know it's that old cliche but time really is a healer. It's shit right now but in time, things... they get easier..."

He shook his head dismissively this time. "I should have listened to Richards. But no. I thought she was just some jumped up, gobby fucking Private. Well, she proved herself to be a bloody good soldier didn't she."

"Richards?" Molly questioned, her face scrunching in confusion.

"I should have trusted my gut. Azizi tried to warn me." He said, still staring into the mirror, his eyes wide.

"Warn you? Charles, what are you wafflin' on about?"

He turned his head to face her. "It was my fault. That Elvis died."

She blinked at him, he was looking at her in all seriousness. Then she shook her head. "No. _N__o_. None of this is your fault Charles." She said, moving towards him.

"We should never have gone on that mission. It was my call. I caused it. And now she's on her own. Because of me."

Molly sighed "Charles. Don't do this to yourself. You ain't to blame for what 'appened."

"_Yes_ Molly. _Yes_ I am." He asserted. "You weren't there, you... you don't know..."

Molly stared at him, he hadn't been right for a while she had thought. It had gotten worse since Afghan, since Elvis. Was this why? Because he'd been blaming himself this whole time?

"You don't really believe this?" She said.

"It's the truth." He replied instantly.

She stood with her mouth half open. Nothing she seemed to say could reassure him. She was at a loss as to what to say or do. To be honest she was getting tired of walking on eggshells with him of late.

"It's been a long day. I think we need some sleep." Charles said eventually. She nodded and headed to the bathroom to ready herself for bed as Charles turned back to the mirror, eyeing himself sternly as he blew air out through his nose.

OG

They lay in bed, him on his back staring blankly up at the ceiling and her on her side with her back to him. Where were the arms that used to envelope her into a cuddle before they would drift off to sleep together? When was the last time they had done that? She wondered as she lay with her eyes wide open, barely able to see in the dark but for a small amount of light filtering through the window from the street lamp outside. Suddenly there was movement and she felt the mattress dip and then rise again as he got out of bed. She turned to see his figure leaving the room and heard his footsteps making their way downstairs. She rolled onto her back and sighed. She doubted if she'd be able to get to sleep tonight.

He sat alone at the kitchen table in near darkness. He was surrounded by an eerie stillness which unnerved him. Not a single sound could be heard but somewhere, in the depths of the silence he could hear gunfire, explosions, panicked screams. He could almost smell smoke and feel the heat of the Afghan sun burning against his cheeks.

Elvis was lying on his back on the ground. There were flames and debris everywhere. He knew he was dead straightaway, no one could have survived that blast impact, not to mention the fall from the roof. But still Georgie performed CPR on his burnt and lifeless body like a woman possessed. Everyone knew it was useless. It took two fellow comrades to pull her off of him. Her shrill scream of his name would stay with him for a lifetime. "_Don't leave me."_

He blinked quickly and shook his head, shaking the memory from of his mind then picked up his mobile from the kitchen table and typed out a text message:

_Thinking of you. Hope you're ok after today? Just want you to know you can call me whenever you need. Anytime 24/7. C x_

He looked at the time at the top of the screen. She'd probably be asleep. Perhaps he should wait until it was properly morning before sending it. His finger hovered over the send button, re-reading the message again, there was so much more he wanted to say. Before he knew it he'd pressed it.

She wasn't asleep.

His stomach flipped and his heart skipped a beat as his phone screen lit up less than a minute later with her reply.

_Thanks, appreciate it. I'll be ok. G x _


	3. Chapter Three:A Little Less Conversation

Chapter Three

_A Little Less Conversation _

He was in the kitchen dressed in his uniform and packing the last of his things into his Bergen when she came downstairs the next morning. He hadn't came back to bed last night. She'd eventually managed to drift off for a few hours at most but was feeling far from refreshed. She had a sinking feeling in her chest as she realised what he was doing.

"You're goin' a work?" She said, watching him from the kitchen doorway.

"Yep." He said almost a tad too brightly.

"Today?" She questioned disbelievingly.

"_Yes." _He emphasised slowly. "Is that a problem?"

His tone got her back up. "I thought you were 'avin' today off? Thought the Brig had already agreed it?" She said, arms folded across her chest as she leaned in the doorframe.

"Well now I'm not." He said bluntly. "I'm headed to Pirbright. Better there doing something useful than sat around here all day."

He carried on packing. She watched him for a few seconds, quietly angry that he was buggering off at a moments notice rather than allowing himself some time to grieve. He was straight back into Captain mode again and she hated that he was shutting her out.

She made her way over to the kettle, lifting it and aggressively turning the tap on at full pelt to fill it with water before placing it firmly back onto its base and flicking the switch on to boil. She watched through the small window in the kettle as the water inside bubbled away then spun on her heel to face him. "Ain't you knackered after yesterday?" She tried reasoning.

"I'll get a coffee on the way." He shrugged nonchalantly. Then he looked at her leaning back against the worktop, chewing anxiously at the corner of her lip. He sighed, perching himself against the edge of the kitchen table, arms folded. "D'you think Elvis would want us to sit around and mope?" He asked as if to defend his actions.

She looked down at the floor and sighed. "No." She answered honestly looking back up at him. She made him right on that one. "But I do think he'd want you to sort your shit out." She said, widening her eyes at him.

Charles thought to himself for a moment "Agreed." He nodded. "There's just some things I need to get tied up. I'll only be gone a few days."

"You ain't forgotten I'm deploying to Cyprus next week?"

"Then we'll have the weekend together before you go." He said with a small smile. She couldn't quite muster one back. Then he stood upright, flinging his Bergen over his shoulder. _He_ _was_ _going_ _now? _He moved towards her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. It was awkward, like he'd done it out of necessity. She didn't respond to it, now mightily pissed off that he hadn't discussed this with her or seemed to show any concern for how she was coping with everything since Elvis' death.

"See ya." He said, as he took a couple of backwards steps.

"Bye." She murmered. And then he turned and was gone.

Outside he could see his breath in the cold morning air as he inhaled and then exhaled deeply. Closing the door behind him felt like a relief. He was struggling at home, both with his emotions and just functioning as a civvy in general. He couldn't wait to throw himself back into the structure of army life. He thrived from the routine and discipline that it brought with it. He knew exactly what was expected of him and exactly how to behave. It was ingrained in him. The army was his life and all he ever wanted or knew. His Mother and Father often joked that if you cut him he'd bleed army green.

In Nepal, he'd begun to question his role in it all. The unpredictability of the aftershocks of the earthquake unsettled him. He preferred dealing with an enemy that he could see. And five tours of Afghanistan later he couldn't seem to see the purpose of it anymore. He was a good Captain, so why did it feel like he was beginning to unravel? Why had his judgement been so poor on that last tour? There were questions he had to try and find the answers to and the only way he knew how was to put the uniform back on and get back to work. He would prove that he was a good Captain and put that last mission firmly behind him.

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**Army Training Centre, Pirbright, Surrey, UK **

Charles sat in front of the computer, his elbows leaning on the desk with his hands clasped together by his mouth. The template of an After Action Report was open on the screen. _31st October 2017 _was the date at the top of the page. Halloween. Ironic given the nightmare that was that day. He re-read the last line that he'd typed:

_Corporal Lane was emotionally involved with Captain Harte. _

The cursor flashed intimidatingly at him at the end of the sentence, inviting him to continue.

Suddenly he was right back there in Afghanistan, sat on the edge of the cot with an arm around a distraught Georgie. _"Why? One last mission, **fuck** one last mission." _She sobbed into him as he hugged her tightly.

With a gulp his hand then went to the mouse and he moved it to click on the X in the corner of the screen and the report disappeared. He flopped back in his chair, exhausted. For now, it would wait.

Picking up his mobile he re-read the text from Georgie last night "..._I'll be ok. G x_"

Was she ok? He wondered to himself.


	4. Ch4:You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’

Chapter Four

_You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'_

"Keep up Dawesey!" Charles called over his shoulder as he sprinted on ahead of Molly.

Saturday morning had arrived and Molly had suggested they go for a run to start the day. It was something they used to do together often but hadn't managed for some time. She was quietly pleased when he seemed so keen on the idea as lately he didn't really seem keen on anything much at all besides work. Perhaps this is what they needed she thought, some quality time together this weekend to get things back on track.

Short of breath she came to a stop, bending forwards and placing her hands on her knees for support. She looked straight ahead to see his figure getting smaller and smaller as his distance from her increased. Granted she never could quite match his pace but she wasn't that far off it and he would usually slow down a bit for her so that they could run alongside each other. But today it was as if he were competing in a race against Mo bleedin' Farah. He hadn't even looked back to see if she was anywhere near him and she was too out of breath to call after him. _Dawesey _he hadn't called her that in a long time. Hardly ever since they were married actually. She pondered that for a moment, standing upright as he disappeared from view completely. Her breathing was still ragged. There was no way she would catch up with him now. With each second that passed she grew more and more annoyed that he'd just ran off and left her behind. She looked around the busy street and wondered whether to carry on. Catching a glimpse of her sweaty reflection in the window of the cafe she'd just so happened to stop outside she decided that she'd had enough. She walked over to the window and perused the menu that was stuck to the inside of the glass. Then she looked back down the road, perhaps he would have turned back for her? But with there being no sign of him she decided to admit defeat, pushing the door to the cafe open and going inside.

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Being at ATC Pirbright had kept him busy for the last few days and that was how he liked it. Filling in that after action report had mentally drained him though. He lost count of how many times he deleted whole paragraphs only to re-type them again using different wording. He'd tried to give an honest account of what happened whilst being mindful not to incriminate anyone, namely Georgie and himself of course. He was all too aware that it didn't look too good for either of them. He'd thought about Georgie a lot, hoping that she might have taken him up on his offer to call him but rather disappointingly he'd heard nothing. He wondered if she was struggling as much as he was, of course she was he told himself. As frustrating as Elvis could be sometimes he never thought it possible that he could miss his friend this much. It was as though there was this great big gaping hole in his life now that would never be filled again. He'd re-lived the events of Kabul for the last three days straight and then he'd re-lived it all over again in his nightmares each night. At least having the report done and dusted was one weight off his shoulders. Perhaps now he could begin to move on.

Although he'd only been away a few nights compared with months spent away on tour, coming home still brought with it the same knot of dread in his stomach that he'd been getting for a while now. At home he was restless. Home was supposed to be a safe haven, a sanctuary, the place where you could relax the most so why was it he would much rather be out on the battlefield than be here?

He'd been up for the idea of going for a run just to get out of the house and get away from the four walls that he felt were constricting him. As he ran his mind took him to being on tour, running towards the enemy, weapon fully loaded and ready to do battle. Suddenly he could see Elvis being blasted from the roof in the distance, flames all around. He ran and ran but no matter how fast he ran he just couldn't seem to reach him. It was as if he were running on a treadmill, running on the spot but not actually getting anywhere.

Caught up in his imaginary bubble he didn't realise he'd lost Molly until he was almost home. She hadn't answered her mobile when he stopped and tried to call her. Panting for breath he looked around wondering if he should turn back and find her but he decided to just go home, she'd catch up with him soon enough.

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She arrived home quite a while later and he immediately appeared in the hallway with his hands held up as if to surrender. "Sorry. I'm sorry." He said as she closed the front door behind her. "I thought you were right behind me."

She widened her eyes at him as he approached her. "Really?" She said unconvinced.

He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I dunno what came over me." He said, shaking his head.

"It's fine." She dismissed, steadying herself against the sideboard as she took her trainers off. It clearly wasn't fine judging by her stand offish demeanor.

"D'ya fancy some breakfast?" He asked hopeful that he could turn the sour situation around.

"Nah, I grabbed a croissant and a cuppa just now." She said not looking at him.

"I thought we were gonna have something back here?" He said.

"Yea well I thought we was goin' for a run _together _so there ya go." She replied as she began to climb the stairs.

Charles rolled his eyes "Molly..." He started and then flinched slightly as the bathroom door banged shut upstairs. Now standing alone in the hallway he ran his tongue along his lower lip before he gave a loud sigh. Yep, she was pissed off with him alright.

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She sat on the edge of the bed with a towel wrapped around her, drying the ends of her damp hair with another. She eyed him as he appeared in the doorframe then looked away again. Next thing she knew he was sat beside her.

"I am sorry." He said, sitting forwards with his hands clasped together.

She stopped drying her hair, placing the towel onto her lap as she raised her eyes up to the ceiling and sighed, this was silly, she thought. "Apology accepted _Usain Bolt_." She said nudging him playfully in his side.

He snickered. "I know I'm good but I'm not _that_ good." He said, turning to her with a small smile.

"There it is." She said looking at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Dunno the last time I saw you smilin'." she replied.

He thought about it for a second. "Not had too much to smile about..."

She nodded. "I know." She said softly as she reached her hand up and stroked the side of his face with the backs of her fingers. Their eyes locked and she slowly leaned into him so that the tips of their noses were just touching. He let her take the lead as her mouth found his and he reached up and cupped the back of her neck as they shared a tender kiss. She savoured the taste of him again, it was this that she'd been craving for so long. She just wanted her Charles back. But just as their kiss was deepening he suddenly stopped and pulled back, his eyes cast downwards.

"What is it?" She asked softly, aching for him to come back to her. This was the first time they'd kissed properly in ages. Why was he stopping?

"I dunno. Maybe it's just this week..." He breathed, sitting forwards again and rubbing his palms over his face.

She watched him for a moment sat there with his face in his hands. "It's not though is it?" She gulped, a lump forming in her throat.

He turned his head to look at her questioningly.

"It's been like this since you came back from Nepal." She continued.

He looked away again.

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "You might gonna need to talk to someone Charles. Grief - it affects everyone differently..."

"I'm fine." He said closing his eyes.

"You're not though are ya? It's startin' to affect other areas of your life. Of _our_ life. Then there's all this blamin' yourself over Elvis' death. It ain't right."

"It's been a rough week. I'm just a bit knackered that's all." He insisted as he got up from the bed. Her hand fell away from his shoulder and came to rest by her side. "I need a shower." He stated. Then he left the room, leaving her sitting on the edge of the bed with tears beginning to sting at her eyes.


	5. Chapter Five: Blue Christmas

**Huge thanks to everyone reading and reviewing xx**

**The CJ/Molly/Georgie storyline is definitely one that divides fans of the show into two camps. There is loads I could say on the subject but for now I am going to let the story do the talking and perhaps come back to that another day. **

Chapter Five

_Blue Christmas _

Molly left for Brize Norton early on Monday morning ready to deploy to Cyprus on a 6 week humanitarian mission. She was somewhat reluctant to leave him, his grief still being so raw. 6 weeks was going to feel like a lifetime she was sure of it. The weekend hadn't turned out to be as good as either of them would've liked and now that she was stood by the door with her Bergen ready to go Charles felt a pang of guilt for how he'd behaved.

"I wish I didn't have to go so soon." She said sadly.

He nodded in silent agreement. "6 weeks, it'll fly by..." he offered, not believing it himself either. It was now her turn to nod silently agreeing.

He placed his hands either side of her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Remember stay focused..." he began before she quickly interrupted.

"Yea yea...stay alert, stay _alive_." She said rolling her eyes. He was looking at her seriously and she gulped. It was that word _alive_. She hadn't meant to emphasise it quite as much as she had. Of course he'd worry about her going off on tour after what happened to Elvis. He removed his hands from her and forced an apologetic smile.

"Will you think about what I said? About maybe talking to someone?" She asked hopefully whilst she still held his attention.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds but then answered simply with "Yea." She couldn't tell if he meant it or not. She gave him a small smile in thanks as she flung her Bergen over her shoulder and opened the front door.

"See you in 6 weeks then." He said as she stepped outside.

She turned to face him "6 weeks." She affirmed. "Take care yea? I'll skype whenever I can." For a moment she felt as though her feet were rooted to the spot like she couldn't or more so didn't want to move. He leant over and gave her a peck on the cheek and she closed her eyes, a heavy feeling in her heart. This wasn't how their goodbyes went.

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The timing of this tour meant that she would be away for Christmas which truly sucked as the 'first' of any event without someone was always difficult but especially so at Christmas, a time when you can't escape the importance of family and friends. The festive season just seemed to highlight all the more that Elvis was no longer here not to mention the distance between them both.

Charles got on with things as best he could in the weeks after she left, mainly trying to lose himself in his work. He accepted every opportunity to work extra days or longer hours that came his way, the busier he was the better. At home the house was quiet without Molly there and despite time moving further away from the events of Kabul the flashbacks and the nightmares only increased as though it had just happened yesterday.

One morning after another restless night he stood sifting through the post that had fallen through the letterbox when a handwritten envelope addressed to _Mr. and Mrs.James_ caught his eye. Setting the other envelopes which were inevitably bills on the side he tore this one open first. Inside was a Christmas card.

_To Molly and Bossman,_

_Wishing you both a happy Christmas and all the best for 2018_

_Love Georgie x_

He smiled to himself but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He thought about how difficult this time of year was going to be for her and the guilt was there again in the pit of his stomach. He reached for his mobile and sent her a text straightaway.

_Thanks for the Xmas card. Hope you're doing OK? C x_

By the time he'd gathered the rest of the post and walked to the kitchen his phone pinged with a reply. She'd sent back a string of Christmas themed emojis which made him chuckle to himself. As ever, she never gave much away. How he wished he could see her again. She must be the only person who would be able to understand how he was feeling right now and he did miss her. 2 Section wasn't quite the same without her. He knew that Elvis would expect him to look after her now and he almost felt as though he was failing in that duty having had barely any contact with her since the funeral. He did know that she was back at work and on regimental duties in Preston. She needed time to recover from this and not touring for a while would allow for that. He just wondered if she'd ever feel ready to go on tour again.

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_**25th December 2017**_

_**Bath, UK**_

_There's something for you on top of the wardrobe, careful not to knock it down the back! Merry Christmas x _

Molly's text came just as he was about to set off to his parents house for the traditional James family Christmas lunch with all the trimmings. It'd be a full house with Cousins, Uncles and Aunts that no one had seen since last Christmas all turning up laden with gifts in abundance. No doubt his Mum would already be on the sherry. Sam was spending Christmas Day with Rebecca and her family this year but she'd promised to bring him over for the evening so he could sleep over at his Nan and Grandad's and then spend Boxing Day with them and Charles.

Standing on a chair he felt carefully around on top of the wardrobe and retrieved a recrangular shaped package neatly wrapped in Christmas paper and tied with ribbon. He climbed down from the chair whilst reading the tag.

_To Charles_

_Merry Christmas_

_Love Mols x _

He sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully undid the ribbon and tore at the paper, he already knew what was inside and he was grinning now. A box of his favourite Rosaybaya coffee capsules awaited him. Every Christmas and birthday she would get him a box without fail. Today, they were a reminder of happier times.

_Top marks for organisation! Thank you x __Merry Christmas. Just off to Mum and Dad's now, think I'd rather be in Cyprus!_

——————————

**Sovereign Base Area of Akrotori, Cyprus**

She laughed when she read his text. There was one good thing about being deployed overseas on Christmas Day and that was not having to spend it with her Mother-in-law!

_Send everyone my love especially Sammie x Will Skype as soon as I can x _

As much as she missed Charles and home today, she had to admit that there was actually something quite special about being here on Christmas Day. It wasn't the same as Christmases back home obviously but everyone there was in the same boat and they all did their best to keep each other upbeat. They tried to focus on what was important and to enjoy and celebrate the occasion as best they possibly could. They were celebrating alongside many other nationalities that were there as part of the United Nations and she was looking forward to partaking in some of their Christmas traditions. She had learnt that the Slovakian contingent believed that it is Jesus that gives you the presents at Christmas and not Santa. She loved learning about how everyone else celebrated and how they could bring it all together to make it a great day for all. The best present to her though would be to be able to see his face on the screen when she would eventually be able to get away to skype him. There was no need for material gifts that just didn't mean anything. Seeing him was all she wanted for Christmas.

**Manchester, UK **

Georgie stole herself away upstairs for a moment, away from the madness that was another raucous Lane family Christmas unfolding downstairs. She'd always loved Christmas. Some of her best memories were of Christmases gone by. But today she was struggling to keep up the pretense of enjoying it. 8 weeks. It had only been 8 weeks since he died beneath her hands. Was she supposed to just forget about it and put a smile on her face because it was Christmas Day? To be honest she couldn't wait for the whole thing to be over with, it was so painful and she just couldn't stop thinking about him. She missed him more and more with each day that passed, today more than ever.

As she sat perched by the windowsil in her bedroom she found herself absentmindedly scrolling through the contacts on her phone, before she knew what she was doing she was calling Charles' number, not really expecting him to answer today.

"Georgie?" He answered after only a couple of rings. There was a lot of noise in the background.

Now that he'd answered she wasn't sure what to say and her heart began to pound. "Ugh, I'm sorry Boss I uh.. I must have called you accidentally, sorry." She grimaced to herself once the words were out, _what an idiot!_

"No,no,no, it's fine." He said. The noise in the background was fading away as he was obviously moving somewhere quieter. "Merry Christmas!" He said.

"Yea, you too." She replied. "You with your family?" She asked.

"Yep. Yep, at Mum and Dad's. Molly's off on tour."

"Yea, Cyprus in't it?"

"Yea. _Facebook_?" He summised with a small laugh.

"That's the one." She confirmed.

"You're with family too I take it?" He asked.

"Yea, they're doin' my head in." She groaned.

"I know the feeling." He agreed with a laugh before he turned serious. "It must be hard, today..."

"Mmm." Was the only sound she could manage as she fought back tears.

"I bloody miss the cocky bastard." Charles admitted.

"Yea." She breathed, her voice barely audible. Suddenly she could hear Grace calling up the stairs. "Georgie? What you doin' up there love?"

"I'm just comin' Mum!" She called back. "I've gotta go. Sorry again...for misdialing..." she apologised.

"Any time Lane." He said. And he truly meant it.

Once she'd hung up he stood in the empty lounge room of his parents house, everyone else gathered in the dining room, grateful to have heard her voice.


	6. Chapter Six: Big Boss Man (Part One)

**As always thank you for reading and to those who take the time to review xx **

**To the guest who recomended the BBC 3 programme PTSD: The War Inside My Head, thank you I gave it a watch. So sad but at the same time interesting viewing. It's such ashame that there seems to be a real lack of support for soldiers suffering PTSD once they are out of the army, although it sounded as if that has been realised and that they are now working to address it, let's hope that they do. Noticed that it was narrated by Iwan Rheon (Smurf) too, nice touch x**

Chapter Six

_Big Boss Man (Part One) _

**January 2018, Bath, UK**

It was late evening when Molly returned home. The sight of Christmas tree lights warmly glowing in the front windows of the few neighbouring houses that still had their decorations up made her smile. It reminded her of home and of Christmases when she was little. She laughed quietly to herself thinking of the nearly bald plastic tree and homemade decorations that her and her siblings had made at school taking pride of place in her Mum and Dad's front room. They'd still have that bleedin' tree up _this_ Christmas. It was a far cry from the lavish decorations some of the folk around here adorned their houses with. She remembered she and Charles' first Christmas together at his Mum and Dad's place. He'd told her on their first tour together that that place was magical at Christmas time and it truly was. It had been like stepping into one of those massive houses you see on those awful American made-for-TV Christmas movies which to be honest she secretly enjoyed watching. She still had to pinch herself sometimes that she'd ended up living here in Bath. This comfortable lifestyle was certainly not something she had ever imagined for herself only 5 years ago when she had just joined the army. To be fair she didn't even know where Bath _was_ 5 years ago.

As the cab pulled up outside their house she couldn't help but notice that it looked cold and uninviting in comparison to their neighbours. She understood why Charles hadn't bothered putting a tree or any decorations up this year, there was hardly any point with her not being there and he'd been at his parents place over Christmas anyway but for some reason it still made her feel a little bit sad.

She noticed the curtain moving at the window and smiled, he'd been waiting for her. After settling the cab fare she approached the front door wondering how he was 6 weeks on from when they last saw each other. Sure, they'd Skyped and texted each other whilst she'd been away, but how was he _really_? Part of her felt a little anxious but that soon faded away when she saw him stood in the doorway with a welcoming smile lighting up his handsome face.

"Alright?" She greeted him brightly. She hadn't realised just how much she'd missed him until now.

"Half left." He joked with a glint in his eye. She raised her eyebrows at him and tutted playfully as he took her Bergen from her and leant in to kiss her gently on the cheek before moving aside to let her inside.

As the door closed behind them the familiar smell of 'home' filled her nostrils and she felt herself begin to relax, glad to be back now. Charles set her Bergen to the floor and moved towards her, his eyes moving all over her like he was seeing her for the first time. He gently cupped her face in his hands. Her pulse quickened as he looked into her eyes, his thumbs caressing her cheeks before he leaned in and kissed her softly. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of their mouths meeting again after so long and the tips of his fingers gently massaging at the nape of her neck sent a tingle down her spine.

She opened her eyes when he eventually pulled back "Missed me then?" She said. She couldn't help the smile that was beginning to creep onto her face. He smiled back at her while biting his lower lip and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him for another kiss, this time it was a bit more heated and soon enough she could certainly feel just how pleased he was to see her.

"Steady on Captain! I've gotta take a shower I'm mingin'" She protested attempting to pull away but he only pulled her in closer.

"I'll join you then." He murmered into her neck as he began to trail kisses from below her ear down to her shoulder.

"You feelin' alright?" She questioned raising an eyebrow but with a satisfied smirk on her face, she was quite enjoying the attention he was giving her and the effect that she seemed to be having on him.

"I'm feelin' _you_." He said, his voice low. She giggled and his lips found hers again, silencing her. This time she didn't try to fight it. She ran her hands up through his hair as they kissed passionately and he began to undo the buttons on her camo shirt.

They clumsily made their way upstairs, kissing and undressing each other as they went, leaving a trail of clothes behind them. Once upstairs she blindly fumbled around for the handle of the bathroom door not once breaking their kiss and they almost fell onto the floor when she finally caught it and the door swung open suddenly. She laughed against his mouth, reaching a hand out behind him to steady herself against the wall.

Now both fully undressed he lifted her up and stepped into the shower with her legs wrapped around his waist. He held onto her with one arm whilst turning on the shower faucet with his free hand. They both gasped with shock as the cold water came gushing down over their bodies but very soon they wouldn't be cold anymore...

——————————

She was awoken the next morning by her stomach growling loudly with hunger. She sleepily turned her head on her pillow and smiled at the sight of him fast asleep next to her, his curls all unkempt and a couple of days worth of stubble peppering his strong features.

Last night was _amazing_. It had felt like old times when they could hardly keep their hands off one another whenever one of them came home from a tour. It kept things exciting she supposed. Maybe that old adage _absence makes the heart grow fonder_ really was true. Perhaps she'd not been fair on him after Elvis, maybe he had just needed some time and some space to grieve and get himself back on track. Perhaps after this time apart this could be a fresh start for them.

She couldn't ignore her stomach's demands for food any longer and so got up and slowly crept out of the bedroom as quietly as she could so as not to wake him. She picked up yesterday's discarded clothing with a smile as she made her way downstairs, reliving the memory of last night in her mind. When she reached the kitchen her face fell and she stopped in her tracks as she was confronted with the state of the place.

There was a mountain of unwashed plates and mugs precariously stacked up beside the sink and piles of unopened post discarded on the kitchen table. The bin was overflowing, she could just about catch the whiff of it from the kitchen doorway. The recycling hadn't been taken out in weeks by the look of it. She couldn't help but notice the number of discarded beer cans dotted around. She turned and walked to the living room, her brow creasing as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. There were more plates, more mugs abandoned on the coffee table which was thick with dust. Everywhere was a complete mess. She was hugging the bundle of clothes in her arms tightly now as if seeking some comfort from them as she chewed anxiously at her lip, fighting against the rising sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. This wasn't just grief. He wasn't well.


	7. Chapter Seven: Big Boss Man (Part Two)

**Hello readers, sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, it's taken a while for me to be happy enough with it to post it! **

**Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend x **

Chapter Seven

_Big Boss Man (Part Two)_

Molly thumbed the card as she took it down from the mantelpiece where she was dusting. She'd gotten straight to it, forefitting breakfast in an attempt at getting the place looking somewhat presentable again. They'd received countless Christmas cards in the post, she had them all piled up ready to go in the recycling now, _such_ _a waste _she thought. Georgie's was the only one that Charles had opened and put out on display, the only visible clue in the whole of the house that Christmas had even been. As she read Georgie's handwriting inside she thought back to Elvis' funeral and the last time she'd seen her. It was all just so sad. She chewed at the corner of her lip as she remembered Charles' voice breaking as he told her the news of Elvis' death over the telephone... the way he'd crumpled into her arms when he returned home from Nepal... his hug with Georgie at the funeral...

The sudden sound of Charles clearing his throat pulled her away from her thoughts and she turned her head to see him stood at the living room door, a stern yet slightly guilty look plastered on his face in the knowledge that he was going to have to _face the music _as it were.

"I was uh.. I was gonna tidy up before you got back." He said weakly.

She sighed and placed the card down flat on the coffee table, Charles' eyes fell on it briefly and then back to Molly. She looked at him expectantly but didn't say anything, her fingers anxiously playing with the yellow duster she held in her hands.

Her silence made him feel uncomfortable and he shifted on his feet. "It's just been busy..." He gave as a sort of half hearted explanation.

She stared at him for a moment. "Too busy to rinse out a cup?" She questioned quietly, her brow narrowing.

He half shrugged and shook his head.

She took a deep breath "This ain't like you." She stated.

He opened his mouth to speak but no words would come out. He didn't know how to explain how he was feeling, just getting up in the mornings was becoming a battle unless he was going to work. He turned his head to the side, not able to look at her.

"Did you see about talkin' to someone?" She asked then pursed her lips together waiting for his answer, although she was afraid that she already knew what that answer was going to be.

When he didn't reply she raised her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head slightly, _of course he bloody hadn't. _"Charles, I really think you need to talk to someone. Maybe talk over what happened to Elvis...your grief...blaming yourself... This is going beyond grief now... this ain't functioning. I mean, look at the state of the place. Have you done _anything_ in 'ere in the last 6 weeks?" She probed.

"Of course." He said defensively, his head turning back to face her. "Like I said, it's just...been busy..."

She bit her lower lip, shaking her head again. Although they were stood only meters apart it felt like the distance between them both was much greater. "What a welcome home eh?" She started. "Or was this what jumping on me the second I walked through the door last night was all about mm? Lure me straight into bed to put off the inevitable? Thought you'd soften me up first? Before I'd have to face this _shit_?" She said, flinging the duster about as she gestured around the room, her attempts at tidying up visible by a bin bag that was half full and the basket of cleaning products she'd brought in from the kitchen. "Cos that's just like you innit? Runnin' away instead of facin' up to your problems." She carried on. She didn't want to get angry at him but she couldn't help it. She _was_ angry; angry that it wasn't her husband who had came home from Nepal but instead a shell of the man he used to be - broken and blaming himself for his friend's death to a point where he could no longer function properly. She was angry at Elvis for stepping on that fucking IED, he was SF for God's sake, top of the top and yet... _Boom! _Most of all she was angry at herself for having to go off on tour and leave him when he was at such a low point, if she'd been here maybe things wouldn't have got so bad...

"What are you talking about _lure you into bed_?" Charles answered back, his brow creasing.

"You ain't touched me in _months_ til last night!" She retorted. She could almost feel her blood beginning to boil inside of her. This was the crux of it. She couldn't be sure when it had started, when they had stopped being intimate. Was it before or after Elvis died? Was it gradual or sudden? She didn't even know anymore. All she knew was that they weren't in a good place and it scared her.

Charles sighed heavily, clenching his jaw behind a closed mouth. They stared at each other, he couldn't argue with her, she was right. He took a deep breath before he spoke "I'm not doing this now." He said and attempted to turn and leave. Her voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Promise me. Promise me you'll get some help." She was almost pleading with him. Sighing, he rubbed his thumb and forefinger over the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes but didn't answer her.

"Why can't you promise me?" She probed.

"Mols." He said, his eyes still closed and his voice low and quiet.

"What!?" She snapped back at him. "Are you not even gonna admit that there's a problem?"

"Look, I don't _need_ to talk to _anyone_ about _anything_." He said, opening his eyes and trying his best not to shout when all he wanted to do was scream.

"So that's it then?" Molly said. Again, there came no reply from him and she watched as he hesitated for a second before walking away, heading back upstairs.

"Go on!" She shouted out after him. "Go and put yer uniform on! You can hide behind that! Go off and play at soldiers that'll make it all alright!"

She could feel herself beginning to shake and she took some deep breaths, determined that she was _not_ going to cry. She threw the duster she had been holding down onto the table in frustration... where it landed on top of Georgie's Christmas card.

——————————

Hours passed...days...weeks. Before they knew it had been months.

Not all the days were bad. Some days gave hope that they could be the couple they used to be. Other days he'd shut her out completely and she wondered if any of it was really worth it anymore. She was finding more and more that her happiest days were days when they hadn't been together, when either one of them was away working. Work was still a sort of sanctuary for him too. And although 2 Section were continuing to work well as a unit it still seemed like there was a piece of the puzzle missing... Georgie.

——————————

**Nigeria, West Africa**

**6 months after Elvis' death.**

"Kingy!" Charles called out as Sergeant King passed by the door of his office. Kingy backtracked and stood in the doorway expectantly. "I've just got word Lane's in transit. I'm gonna go pick her up in the truck. You'll be alright here with the guys?" He said whilst gathering his essentials, looking every inch the competent Captain once again.

"Indeed Sir." Kingy nodded respectfully "We've got a PT session scheduled, 3 mile run along the beach." He said with a slight grin, he quite enjoyed putting 2 Section through their paces.

"Well, some of us have to work for a living." Charles replied with a small laugh and Kingy smiled broadly at him before continuing on his way. It was only once the words were out of his mouth that Charles' face straightened as he remembered Georgie saying the same thing to him when he first asked her to be 2 Section's medic.

He'd sort of always looked out for her he supposed. Right from the day that Elvis failed to turn up to their wedding. Being the one to have to break that news to her was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. Asking her to be his medic almost felt like he was making up for that in some strange way. He was proud at how far she'd come since her first tour with the section in Kenya and proud of everything she had overcame since. There was no denying he had missed her and today it felt as though she was coming 'home'.

_His heart had been in his mouth when he'd received an unexpected phonecall from the Brigadier. He was certain it had to be about his after action report, sure that he was being called up for a bollocking or maybe worse. The relief he'd felt when the Brig revealed the reason for his call was immeasurable. __"Corporal Lane has expressed an interest in returning to active duty." He had said. "She's been assessed and all is good this end. I thought this tour of Nigeria might be the perfect opportunity to reintegrate?" He was clearly asking Charles' opinion._

_"Well, I'd be very glad to have her back, Sir. As I'm sure would the rest of the section. She has a good relationship with all of the guys and she's an excellent medic. A real asset to 2 Section, Sir."_

_"That's as I thought. I shall 'get the ball rolling' as they say."_

_"Thank you Sir." Charles said, pausing briefly before continuing "I'd um, I'd like to be there to meet her when she lands. She hasn't travelled in with the rest of us and what with this being her first tour since.." he didn't need to explain any further as the Brig cut him off._

_"Indeed James, I trust you can arrange your end."_

_"Sir."_

_As he hung up the phone he almost felt his heart was going to pound right out of his chest it was beating that hard. She was coming back. _

_——————————_

Georgie sat alone in the hangar awaiting transport to the Nigerian barracks. Six months spent doing regimental duties in Preston might have allowed her some time to heal after her last tour but she was still anxious about her return to active duty.

She'd kept quiet about the flashbacks she was still having in her psyche session. There was no way she'd have been cleared fit to return if she'd disclosed that piece of information and she was desperate to get back out there now. It's what she needed, the army was her life. Floating about in Preston gave her no sense of purpose and too much time to think. Even now, sat here, she could still clearly picture Elvis' burnt, lifeless body beneath her. She was certain he wouldn't have wanted her to give up. She needed to do this.

The truck rolled to a slow stop just outside where she was sitting and Charles emerged from the passenger's side. She smiled, relieved to see a familiar face. She hadn't expected he would be coming to meet her. It seemed poignant somehow though, that he was always there when she needed him - a sign maybe that she was doing the right thing after all.

Standing up, she gathered both her bergen's and began to make her way outside toward the truck.

"Lane" he greeted her with a warm smile as he strode towards her.

"I never normally get a royal welcome." She quipped.

"You calling me royal?"

"If the cap fits." ...


	8. Chapter Eight: All Shook Up

Chapter Eight

_All Shook Up (Part One)_

Charles could hardly keep his eyes off her as they travelled to the barracks together in the truck. On the exterior he was cool and collected - Captain-mode activated. But inside he was anxious yet strangely buzzing at the same time. After all this time it seemed surreal that she was actually sat here beside him.

There was a brief exchange between them which addressed the elephant in the room - "_You__ are allowed to say the Elvis word by the way." _She said. However he sensed that she didn't _really_ want to talk about it which was a relief to him as he didn't really want to talk about it either, it was far better off pushed to the back of his mind. Georgie was in work mode just as much as he was and he silently vowed to himself to make sure that she was going to be alright on this tour. He felt like it was his duty to protect her after the shitstorm that was Kabul. Now was time to bury the past and move forwards.

_What could possibly go wrong?_

_—_

"Five star accommodation as standard I see." Georgie quipped as Charles opened the door to the section's sleeping quarters and led her inside.

"Would you expect anything less Lane?" He replied sarcastically. She cocked her head at him and raised her eyebrows as an amused smile played on her lips.

He stood for a second just watching her as she surveyed the room then quickly became aware that the silence between them was becoming a tad awkward. "I'll let you get yourself sorted." He said, reaching for the door handle again, this time to let himself out. Georgie gave him a nod. She didn't know why but she didn't really want him to leave. For a moment she felt like maybe she'd made a mistake in coming back, she didn't know if she could be alone here, maybe it was too soon after all? Perhaps she should tell him she'd changed her mind before it was too late... "It really is good to have you back Lane." He said, his voice full of sincerity and all she could do was force a smile at him before he left.

She gulped as the door clicked firmly closed behind him then closed her eyes and sighed heavily, resolving herself to the fact that she was here now and she had to get on with it. Slowly she walked between the row of cots that lined either side of the room. When she reached hers at the far end she flung her Bergen onto it and placed her hands on her hips as she looked around, taking in her new surroundings. It all felt all so familiar and yet alien at the same time. She moved and sat down on the edge of her cot, rubbing her hands over her knees before clasping them together and lowering her head so that her forehead was resting on them. There was no room for any doubts in her mind now, she _had_ to do this. She couldn't let the team down now. She couldn't let _herself_ down either. It was almost as though she was here to prove a point. Elvis' death wasn't going to stop her doing what she loved. She was made of tougher stuff than that... wasn't she?

It wouldn't be too long before some very welcome faces would make their appearance and reassure her that just maybe, she was.

—

As darkness fell and the soldiers bunked down for the night, Georgie lay awake. She'd done it. The first day back was always going to be the hardest but now it was over. There was so much shit happening in the world, she thought as she mused the briefing earlier that day and thought about Boko Haram and the missing schoolgirls. She was just glad that she could be here to help in some small way. However it wasn't just her worry for the schoolgirls or the intense Nigerian heat keeping Georgie awake. Memories of Elvis were also playing over and over in her mind. It wasn't that unusual, every night for the last six months had been the same, but somehow being _here_ made her miss him even more. She could see his face as clear as day, god how she missed him. She wondered what he'd think of her coming back, would he be proud of her?

_I've loved you from the very first moment I saw ya and I'll love you til my very __last_.

Of course he would, she thought. It's what he would have wanted. There was no way he'd have wanted her to give up now. Eventually her eyelids drew heavy and she managed to drift off to sleep, where she'd reunite with Elvis, only now in her dreams...

—

Georgie threw herself into work more than she ever had done before. Keeping busy kept her mind from wandering and it was good to feel like she was doing something that actually meant something again as opposed to being stuck up in Preston feeling useless. As two section assembled in the truck the next morning she was growing increasingly concerned for Brains. Something had definitely changed in him, she had heard what had happened between him and Rab during the assault course yesterday and it was completely out of his character. She studied him as the truck trundled steadily along the dusty road, oblivious to a conversation Captain James and Maisie were having up front. Her priority right now was Brains, she was going to have to keep an eye on him or he could be a potential risk to the section. The medic in her was well and truly back into the swing of things.

_"You're not sprogged up are ya Boss?"_

_"Do you mean have I got children? Yes, one. Boy."_

_"Is he just like Prince George? Does he wear posh shorts and have blonde flicky hair n that?"_

_"Yes. Exactly like that."_

Charles allowed himself to picture Sam for a moment. It made him feel uneasy. He never had thought that he was a good Dad. Having spent so much of Sam's young life away on tour it sometimes felt as though he barely knew him. He wondered if Sam would grow up thinking of him as a failure? He thought about how he'd failed Rebecca, how he couldn't be the husband she'd wanted him to be, how their family unit had been ripped apart - surely that has to have an effect on a kid? Maybe he just wasn't cut out for the family life, he thought, coincidently Elvis' death hadn't been the only thing putting a strain on he and Molly's marriage...

Molly had been the first to bring up the subject of having a baby. He had always refuted the idea by arguing that the timing wasn't right and would Molly really be happy giving up her career that she'd worked so hard for to bring up a baby? He drilled home the idea that it wouldn't be fair to have a child only for the both of them to be away on tour. Molly always insisted that they would find a way to work it all out but truth be told, he didn't want the opportunity to be a shite father twice over. Of course, he'd then feel incredibly guilty when he saw the sadness in Molly's eyes and would promise that they would try when the time was right, but this had been a cycle of events that had been repeating itself for a while now.

As two section finally arrived at the village he allowed himself to relax and forget about these thoughts but he couldn't help but take a mental note of the irony of his situation - in that he found being here and playing a part in trying to defeat the likes of Boko Haram came far easier to him than dealing with any of the issues facing him in his personal life. Suddenly, he remembered his obligation to ensure that Georgie was ok, where was she? He turned on his heel and looked all around.

There she was.

_"Why don't you run along love cos you're gonna look mighty fuckin' silly doing your make up with a broken arm."_

_"If you were a man, I'd beat the shit out of ya."_

Fuck! Was that... _Bones _that Georgie was currently squaring up to? Images of his days at Sandhurst flashed before Captain James' eyes.

"Corporal Lane step away now." He ordered. It was Bones alright. What the fuck was _he_ doing here?...

——————————

**Bath, United Kingdom **

"Molly!" Rebecca was taken by surprise as she opened the door to find Molly standing on her doorstep. She stood bewildered for a moment. The last time she had come face to face with Molly was after Charles had been injured in Afghanistan. She and Charles' marriage was officially over by then but she had taken Sam to visit him in hospital and if there had been any thoughts that they might have made the wrong decision they were immediately squashed the moment Molly had said "ditto" to him as he lay in that hospital bed. That used to be _their_ thing, and Rebecca knew then that Charles had moved on, albeit to her surprise with someone under his command.

Rebecca looked out over the gravel driveway behind Molly, her car was parked up but there was no sign of anyone else. She still couldn't understand why she was here, it was usually Charles who came to pick Sam up not Molly. "I thought Charles was off on tour? Have I got the dates wrong? Sam isn't here he's at Scouts..." she began to explain.

"He is. On tour." Molly confirmed. "And I know...It's not Sam I've come to see. Can we talk?"


End file.
